{phfr} - Done!!!

Linking up with Auntie Leila, as always!

{pretty, happy, funny, and real}

I finished it! This was a large and beautiful order from the shop, placed by my godson's mother. It's been in the works for quite a while and I'm very pleased with how it turned out!!

One part of the above picture isn't part of the order, though. I also painted a child-friendly nativity set for a dear friend who's getting married this weekend! (No, she doesn't have any children yet, but I know that this is something they will love to have for when they DO have children!)

Keeping the post short today. The third trimester is really starting to catch up with me. On that note, I think this will probably be the last order I fill for the shop until after Baby Sister is born. I've hit the point where sitting or standing too long in any one position is difficult - and both standing and sitting for long periods are essential parts of toy making!! If you had something special in mind you can still e-mail me about it and I'd be glad to tackle it sometime this Fall/Autumn. And small orders of saint peg dolls (i.e. orders for 1 or 2 dolls) are still welcome. I'm just so glad I was able to finish this order before the third trimester really set in!

I'm in this weird place. Even though what I've been able to do has been somewhat limited this entire pregnancy by my hyperemesis, I still find myself totally taken by surprise by the third trimester! I remember these various aches and pains, the ways that my body becomes limited...but I hadn't really realized how much it would affect taking care of little Sister Stinky. Thank goodness having Mommy lay on the bed with a bare belly so she can "talk to" Baby Sister and "play" with her is a perfectly legitimate pastime in her book. My belly button has some serious outie action going on (even more so than last time) and the big sister seems convinced that it is her Baby Sister's nose poking through. She has told me this several times, and she loves nuzzling her nose against it. Too cute, these little girls of mine :-) 

Kids and Happiness?

Oh, wow. I just watched the video at this link.

It probably would come as no surprise that I really love and respect the Duggar family. The way my body seems to space things I don't think we have 19 kids in our future...but I'm so glad that there are families who do!!

Before you read the rest of this, take a moment to watch the above video, and then come on back!

Sometimes I feel so overwhelming sad to see what our culture is becoming. But the saddest thing of all is the fact that our American culture is so intensely focused on personal happiness. This mindset is impossible to evade - even the most selfless people in our country bump up against it from time to time (and I'm not one of those people!).

I'm not, of course, saying that there is something wrong with being happy...but feeling obligated to spend your whole life searching for personal happiness above all else? It's a mission doomed to fail in our fallen world.

In this fallen world we live in, suffering is inevitable. Loneliness is inevitable. Sacrificing what you want, at least sometimes, is inevitable. I'm not trying to be morbid...it's just the reality of the world we live in! I find it very worrying that people are choosing whether or not to welcome children into the world based on whether or not it will make them happy. For example, one of the women interviewed in the above video said that she doesn't dislike kids, but doesn't particularly like infants and toddlers. She certainly isn't alone in that! I'm sure I'm not the only parent out there that personally loves my children, but that doesn't particularly like the infant/toddler stage of development. I find it to be a hard, and often boring, stage. I find it stressful at times. If I were concerned with my personal happiness...well...I would try to find some way to skip that stage of life and go straight for the preschool age!

But parenthood - and life- don't work like that. I have known much happiness in my life - but I am not always happy! Part of what keeps me from feeling too down about my lack of happiness is knowing that this life is not about seeking personal happiness! It's about seeking God with all your heart and knowing that He is your ultimate joy - and that the peace and joy that come from Him surpass any fleeting happiness in this world.

But how to explain that to a world that has fallen so far from thinking of things that way?

How do you and your family witness to the the joy that comes from God alone?

WIWS - Happy Mother's Day!

Linking up to the lovely ladies at Fine Linen and Purple!!!

First off...almost 29 weeks! And safely in the third trimester. This girl could be out in as little as 2 months (when I'll be full term)!!!!

Hate to break it to you all...but I only have so many articles of Mass clothing I'll be able to fit in from here on out...so expect some repeats. This blue dress will definitely be one of them!!!

I don't have a side-by-side comparison for you but I can tell you that I'm carrying this little girl waaaay differently than I carried her sister. Sister Stinky was basically living in my rib cage at this point, and her movements were much bigger - she was a really big kicker!! Baby Sister lays lower and she has consistently been a more laid back girl. She has strong kicks but definitely prefers quieter, more fluid motions. They are still plenty big, but she's just more chill than her sister. It'll be fun to see how their little personalities compliment each other!!

I am so grateful for this vocation of mine.

I remember, when I was in high school and college, wondering what my vocation would be. I felt a definite pull to family life, marriage, and motherhood - but I just thought I would probably be called to religious life. I felt a definite pull to Jesus, but my deepest desire was to discern whatever would help me to grow in holiness. I think I was under the impression that I was already doing a pretty good job on that front, and I think my vision of religious life was a very idealistic one - growing in holiness with more time in prayer and focused on Christ. But God knew that the beginnings of my thirst for Him and my desire to grow in prayer were already there at that point. No, He knew that I needed to grow in much bigger ways toward holiness. He saw where I needed to grow in love in ways I couldn't imagine.

It started, of course, with the call to the vocation of marriage. The Abbot opened my heart in ways that only a spouse could have. In my selfish immaturity I remember wanting to make him "feel bad" when we argued while dating. But I remember so well that first eye-opening moment, only days after getting married, when I tried to pull my same old silly gimmick and realized - causing him pain, caused me pain. I didn't want him to be in pain. I wanted him to be happy...even in the midst of a disagreement!

But that was only the beginning. The Abbot was, after all, a fully grown man when I married him. He needed me, and I needed him, but we could take care of ourselves, too. His needs were there, and my needs were there, but neither of us had urgent needs. If I needed the Abbot to run out to the store and get something, he knew he could wait half an hour to go without me totally melting down!

But then our Sister Stinky came along.

She already began to change me with pregnancy. I had learned how to offer up emotional and mental suffering at that point, but I was really bad at dealing with physical suffering (I still struggle with that). Before we even found out that we were expecting, I began to experience very severe abdominal pain. Then, when we found out we were expecting, I feared that pain meant I was losing her. (Thankfully, it didn't. We still don't know for sure what caused it but most likely it was my digestive tract adjusting to major hormonal changes..if you know what I mean!) We got that pain under control and then, a few weeks later, incredibly intense nausea began...and continued in some capacity until I was in labor. And, well....the rest is history!

But pregnancy (and even a lengthy labor and delivery!) were nothing...because suddenly I had this tiny little baby in my life. And she wanted nothing but to be with me all the time! And she depended fully on me for her survival! And, as she grew older and could survive for stretches without me and my milk, she still depended on me emotionally. Now, with the presence of her sister in our family (who is teaching me how to be more loving in my acceptance of physical discomfort) I've had to learn even more about stepping outside of myself. I've had to learn how to put my own needs aside, even when those needs are very urgent (i.e. when I feel like I can't possible read a book to her without throwing up or dry heaving as was the case for the first part of this pregnancy!!!) for love of her. She and her sister are making my heart grow - more and more and more. They are showing me the ways that I still need to grow in holiness...and they are showing me that I still have quite a long way to go! They have taught me so much humility.

I look at this vocation of mine, and am just so overwhelming grateful to God. Because He knew exactly what I actually needed to grow in holiness.

He knew I needed to be a mother.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there!!!

Canonization!!!

So, when I went into labor with Sister Stinky 3 years ago this October (a month filled with awesome feastdays!!!) I was sooo bummed that she wasn't going to be born on a feastday. Like, there were no feasts celebrated on the calendar for that day. Then, my labor carried over into the next day...but it, too, was a feast-free day.

Then, she got a special gift for her 1st birthday...the feastday of someone very, very special and very, very Polish was assigned to her birthday.

And now, it looks like she might get to celebrate this special saint's canonization for her third birthday.

Did I mention she loves popes, btw?

I like sharing my birthday with the feast of St. Irenaeus and the Abbot likes sharing his with St. Cyril of Jerusalem, but come on...did Sister Stinky hit the jackpot, or what?!!

That is all. Carry on with your Saturday :-)

(For the record, Baby Sister is hopefully going to be born in July...and that's chock full of great feastdays, too!!! Can't wait to see which one she picks for her arrival...)

7 Quick Takes - Homeschool advice needed from you pros out there!

Linking up with the beautiful Jen. As always.

-1-

Did you ever think you had something all discerned and figured out, then you're faced with actually doing it...and all of a sudden your discernment takes a whole new level? That's us and homeschooling this week.

-2-

I just have to start off by saying that I've always loved working with little kids and especially teaching them. Even though my degree wasn't in education, I've still had plenty of opportunity to teach kids in a catechetical classroom setting. But by far, my favorite kid EVER to teach is my little Stinky. And she LOVES having me teach her. It is a mutually wonderful relationship for us. I'm living my dream of teaching and she's soaking it all up like a sponge and loving every minute of it!

-3-

But all that being said, we are at the very cusp of preschool homeschooling. And so the Abbot and I have been having some real discernment talks this week about homeschooling. And I feel like I've been actually taking it to prayer, in a way I haven't before. I think one thing that neither of us doubts is my ability to teach our daughters, and to teach them well. I think that both of us think that I am fully capable of giving our daughters a strong academic background. And I think that we are also now in a place where we both realize that this isn't something stressful for me, but something life-giving that I truly enjoy. I struggle so much with having a baby...but I am LOVING having a preschooler!

-4- 

So, part of what our conversation is coming down to is the classic socialization question. (And here's where any of you homeschoolers participating in this link-up can definitely chip in and share your wisdom!!) Part of this is trusting in God for the long term (because we don't know where we'll live 3 years from now after the Abbot graduates, so we can't discern that far...this is more for the right now discernment but we're discerning with the long term in mind). The Abbot and I both want little Stinky to have the experience of having friendships and being part of a community. As far as the community goes, we all love our parish and I know she feels very much a part of it! And we're also discerning signing her up for a Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium when she's old enough because I LOVE that curriculum so much, and we can afford to send her to one! And as far as friends go...she has way more friends (that she prays for by name each night and talks about and looks forward to seeing and playing with) than either of us did at 2.5. And, regardless of where we end up living we will definitely be active members of our parish community and I would definitely dig in and find a homeschooling co-op to belong to (and maybe an atrium for Stinky and Baby Sister to go to). Also, hopefully we'll form a community with other families at whatever university the Abbot lands at. Sooo...logically we shouldn't worry about this. But I'm sure every homeschooling family does at some point. Thoughts?

-5-

Ultimately what it comes down to we've realized is...is this where God is wanting us to be? We know that if we homeschool we will have some family and friends who will be extremely supportive and others who are concerned. It's not something either of us ever considered prior to parenthood. BUT it is something we will wholeheartedly undertake if it is what God wants for our family. So your prayers for our discernment are appreciated!

-6- 

Right now, this experience reminds me of so many other big moments of discernment in my life (and in our life as a couple). Discerning what college to go to, and what to study. Discerning engagement. Discerning children. In each of these experiences, I know that once I feel at peace with knowing (as much as is possible in this lifetime) that I'm saying yes to what God is calling me to, than I can do it, no matter how hard it is. That's what the call to children has been like for us - despite my hyperemesis, we both feel such deep peace knowing we are called to have these little ones that we're able to keep going! I am hoping to come to that kind of peace with this discernment.

-7-

On a funny note...I kind of feel like I'm in college again, discerning my life's vocation. The Abbot and I both experienced a slight draw to the priesthood (him) and religious life (me). We both thought that these vocations were beautiful, lovely things...but deep down both were afraid that because we really wanted to be married and have a family that meant that we had to become a religious/priest...because surely your vocation can't possibly be the thing you WANT to do, right? I know better now, but I'm definitely having those same feelings right now. I feel so guilty because I want to homeschool Stinky (and the feeling seems to be mutual...she is always asking for "school time")...and part of me is assuming, "Okay, if I want it so much it much mean that God is calling us to send her to preschool, etc." I know that sounds silly...but such is the brain when it is lost in that crazy web of discernment!

Thanks for letting me share all that, friends ;-)

{phfr} - Montessori-style!

{pretty}

An updated peek at our "Preschool" space with some new materials...

Math and science...

Some sensorial...

        Practical life and language...

         More sensorial!

{happy}

So you can imagine how happy I was to receive this shipment the other day...

I've spent the remainder of my paycheck from teaching religious ed this semester...and I couldn't be more pleased with my purchases! All of this was bought from Kid Advance. After looking over all the alternatives, they seemed to be the most affordable option for us, with the best reviews. I would happily endorse them! (And they didn't pay me to say that, haha!)

I still have a few more projects to tackle, like making stands for the metal insets and maybe painting some small number rods. But other than that, I'd say we're in pretty good shape! (I've thought of either making the metal inset stands, or buying something like this and mounting it to the wall.)

{funny}

These pictures were taken by Sister Stinky. She tucked in the "baby pyramid."

{real}

We were able to scoop up these geometric solids (originally from Montessori Outlet) for about half of what they would have cost us (including if we'd had to pay shipping) from a local Montessori school that's closing. For the record, they are lovely! I've heard wonderful things about Montessori Outlet but it was just slightly out of our budget for our major purchase. But if you can afford it...they make beautiful materials!

So, yes...Sister Stinky tucks her geometric solids into bed. She has identified parents, grandparents, and a baby in her knobbed cylinder set. I've read about this happening with other Montessori kids..."playing" with the materials. I follow the basic guideline I've read, which is that you don't want them to misuse the materials or treat them roughly. But if they are exploring them in the right way, just with a little more flare...you don't need to stop them! I think it was something I read on Living Montessori Now, kind of along the lines of "if they aren't misusing the materials and if they are naturally creative...let them be!" I've had to relax in our Preschool time and keep that in mind. What is the goal of each material? Are we treating the materials with respect and working toward that goal? If yes, then it doesn't really matter if the materials are given names and personalities in the process ;-)

By the way, if you'd be so kind, please pray for the spouse of a friend of mine, who has been quite ill this week. The doctors are working to figure out what the problem is (and thankfully he does seem to be recovering). If you can pray for him, as well as his wife and infant son who haven't been able to see him while he's recovering (since they don't know if he's contagious and his son is quite small). Thanks!

Linking up with Rosie and Auntie Leila. Hop on over there for more pictures of contentment!

I'm also linking up to the Carrots are Orange virtual Montessori fair...check it out!

Five Favorites: First Communion Anniversary!

Linking up to the lovely Grace who's substituting for Hallie.

18 years ago today, the Abbot and I each received our First Communion. We didn't grow up together, but we grew up only about an hour apart from each other (maybe less!). I can't remember when we figured out that we had received First Communion on the same day (maybe when we were looking up sacramental records before we got married) but every year since we've tried to go to Mass on that day, to receive Jesus again :-)

In honor of our special anniversary...my five favorite things about the Eucharist!

-1-

He's always there in the tabernacle!

(source)

My senior year in high school I first discovered and fell in love with the practice of making visits to Jesus in the tabernacle (I lived in a tiny town in high school, and my house was literally down the street from the Catholic Church so it was sooo convenient!). My love for this practice grew in college, where there were chapels in every dorm and in most other buildings as well! It was pretty awesome. There are a few I may have not visited by I made a point of visiting every one I could. The chapels range from the very simple (one is an office building and is basically just a tiny conference room with chairs, an altar, and a tabernacle) to the positively gorgeous! These chapels in college were invaluable to me - because of the presence of Jesus there! He was (and is) such a comfort to me. As long as Jesus is in every tabernacle, I know I'll never be lonely!!!

-2-

(From our wedding Mass...with some of our favorite priests in the whole world! The famous Dzia-dzia is kneeling in the bottom corner of the picture...of course, he wasn't a Dzia-dzia yet!)

I LOVE the Mass. Daily Mass is easily my favorite form of prayer (even though it's much harder to come by since becoming a Mom!). I actually don't usually receive any sort of special consolation from going to Mass (although sometimes I do feel peace at Mass...those kind of extra special feelings are NOT an every Mass occurance...especially now that I have two little Stinkers in my life!). Instead, I find that the more I go to Mass the more the Eucharist truly becomes my "daily bread." I don't know how to describe it, but something is more complete and satisfied inside of me when I've had my daily dose of Jesus!

-3-

Hope and solace for families...

(A dear friend and faithful follower of this blog took this picture on the sly...I am so glad she did! This was taken when Sister Stinky was barely 3 months old and our family went on retreat together as part of my graduate program.)

From the earliest days of our relationship, the Abbot and I have always had a sort of unofficial motto (that we didn't really put into words until after we were married but we put into practice long before then!). Our motto is that whenever life seems overwhelming, whenever we have a problem to sort through or a joy to celebrate, we take it to Jesus in the Eucharist! I believe the time that the Abbot and I had together with Jesus in college, hanging out and talking in chapels during college and letting Jesus be a part of our time together, really formed our relationship. We fell in love with each other, yes, but we also began to fall in love with Jesus together! It was the beginning of our vocation! I told a friend recently that, whenever I am especially frustrated with the Abbot and wondering, "Why exactly did I marry him? How can we possibly stay married for life?" I remember that he is my partner in this journey to heaven...and I fall in love with him all over again!

I could tell numerous stories of times when life seemed so hopeless, but we were given hope after bringing our family to Jesus in the Eucharist. One of my favorites was from the days right after Sister Stinky was born (literally right after she was born, I think...probably that first week!). We were exhausted, overwhelmed and I was extremely emotional. We were blessed, though, with a Catholic church that was only a few blocks from our house and which was open all day and pretty late into the evening. Overwhelmed, we took Sister Stinky there with us and sat and prayed in the darkened church, just feeling so overwhelmed.  Unbeknownst to us, one of our priest friends from Notre Dame was actually placed at this parish and he just happened to walk in to this darkened church while we were praying there...and offered to give our new family a blessing on the spot! We all slept better that night, and we knew that God would give us the grace to keep going!

-4-

 Adoration!

(source)

I'll admit...I actually struggle with praying in adoration with Jesus in the monstrance, and prefer praying with Him in the tabernacle...not sure if it's the presence of others there whenever Jesus is in the monstrance? But nevertheless...I am addicted to the Eucharist, and so that makes me fond of adoration, too :-)

Do you have a perpetual adoration chapel near you? We've been blessed in that we've always lived close to places with regular adoration. If you're able to go on a date with your spouse or potential spouse - all the better! I truly believe that every moment you spend in adoration as a couple strengthens your bond! It is a great destination for dates!! But even that aside...it is a great destination for you to go personally. I think this is especially true for mothers, who often can't make it to daily Mass (how is it that daily Masses all seem to coincide so perfectly with wake-up or nap times for littles?!). It is such a gift to go and to be able to dump all your problems on Jesus. He is the one person who actually is big enough to take it!

-5-

A taste of heaven on earth.

(source)

Did you know that that is what is happening at every Mass?! I almost always forget that all the saints and angels are there with us at Mass!

The Mass and the Eucharist are the closest we can get to heaven on earth...the closest we can get to Jesus, and the closest we can get to each other. I have a dear friend, who I was extremely close to in college, but who did service abroad for several years after college. She always closes her e-mails to me by reminding me that she'll "See [me] in the Eucharist." (Inspired by this song...to hear it sung, go here.) No matter how far we may be in this life - whether geographically, or separated by death...nothing can truly separate us from one another and from Christ...so long as we have the Eucharist. :-)

"When we gather at the table, we are closer than our breath

even nearer than the angels, when we touch his very flesh.

Dwelling in each other's presence, I will hold you close inside. 

Every soul in heaven and earth now is present in the Body of Christ.

Do not be afraid..."

-"See You in the Eucharist" by Danielle Rose